Materiaali on JMS:n joulukuussa 1998 TNT:lle lähettämästä muistiosta,
jossa JMS kommentoi TNT:n vaatimuksia jo kuvattuihin tai
käsikirjoitusasteella oleviin jaksoihin. JMS postasi muistion nyysseihin
27.10.1999, asianomaisten nimet poistettuna.
You need to understand that the notes-giving process was ongoing, that every
day was a fight, and every day there were pressures from WB and others to
accede to those requests and notes. We were told repeatedly, "Look, give 'em
the show they want for the first year, then you can make it your way in the
I've always had a policy that if a note makes sense, whoEVER it comes from -- a
network, a grip, a carpenter, whoever -- then I'll listen to it. So I tried,
where possible, to listen for any notes that made sense in the whirlwind of
ka-ka that came our way. Some who were not there said that I was acting
unreasonably, and that only the one script WarZone was really affected, that
the other scripts were already written and thus not affected. But nothing
could be further from the truth. They were all whittled at in big or small
If a note didn't make sense...then the answer had to be No.
The "big no" meeting was specifically about a small percentage of the
scripts...and only one meeting out of many. They kept at us *constantly*.
As Michelangelo said, "Trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle."
Sometimes the notes nibbled at big issues, sometimes at small ones, but there
are profound effects either way. Sometimes doing something as small as
changing the rhythm of a scene can destroy it. Take a particularly memorable
piece of classical music (I won't even name it to illustrate the point further)
that begins "dah-dah-dah-DAAAH."
Now change it to "dah-dah-dah-BLAAAT." It's only one note difference. You can
say it' s just a teensy change. But your gut says it ain't right, something
there doesn't work.
Just for the hell of it...I'm going to reprint now one of my memos to TNT,
omitting the name of the person involved. This is emblematic of some of the
exchanges. (This memo was widely distributed to TNT, WB and Babylonian folks
involved in the creative stuff, so it's by no means private.)
TNT:n kommentit lihavoituna, JMS:n vastineet kursiivilla,
[tarkentavat kommentit hakasuluissa].
|JMS:n yleinen vastaus
We've had a chance to review the latest batch of comments, and have some
thoughts on how some of them can be done. Others, as will be examined below,
are more problematic.
Prior to that, though, a general thought: when the notes process began in
earnest subsequent to 105 [Each Night I Dream of Home, viimeinen
vapaasti kuvattu jakso], we voiced the concern that we seemed to be
getting conflicting reactions on the one hand we received requests for
action, on the other hand we got requests for more dialogue about what
the stories mean to the characters, scenes that allow them to express
their feelings to one another. Prior to then, with the possible exception
of a few scenes in 101 [The Needs of Earth], we had been primarily
an action-based series.
We said at this time that we needed clarification: did TNT want more action, or
more dialogue scenes/exposition? Since then, the script notes have been
primarily oriented toward creating more dialogue scenes, more background on the
characters, their feelings toward one another and the situations they're in,
and the emotional consequences. Essentially, expository scenes of one sort or
another. We have complied with those notes as much as we possibly could.
So you can understand my concern when, having done as TNT asked, we get notes
on the cuts that essentially pillory us for having a slower pace. The pace is
in large measure the result of adding in those expository scenes. If TNT asks
for new scenes or to expand scenes in which characters talk about their
feelings, it's going to perforce slow down the action aspect.
I feel it's unfair to take us to task for doing what we were told to do.
The Senator scene in 108 [War Zone] is
particularly emblematic of this. That scene was originally much shorter.
TNT asked for more information about how this was affecting people back
home, how they felt about it. We did that, and now are being told that the
scene is too long. It wasn't too long when we started with it. It only
became too long after we added in all the things that TNT asked us for.
It is both confusing and demoralizing for all of us involved in the production
of Crusade to receive contradictory notes. As I mentioned in our previous
meetings, there has to be consistency; if the goal post keeps getting moved
around the field, we have no idea what to move toward.
To be honest, the pacing that the current notes seem to be asking for is most
embodied by episodes 101-105 [viisi viimeisenä esitettävää jaksoa, joita
TNT ei sorkkinut], the kind of show we were making prior to the hiatus
and notes process.
Anyway, that's a general reaction that I think we need to address at some point
in the future. Meanwhile, on to the specific notes.
|1 - War Zone
TNT:n vaikutukset näkyvät uudessa avausjaksossa War
Zone kaikkein räikeimmin. Avauskohtaus (nyrkkitappelu) on suoraan TNT:n
vaatima, kuten myös mellakkakuvat. Piti kuulemma näyttää millaista maassa
on, eihän sitä pelkästä selityksestä voi ymmärtää. TNT:n vaatimuksesta myös
yksinkertaisia asioita jauhettiin joka välissä uusiksi, ettei vain kukaan
satunnainen kanavasurffaaja missaisi missä mennään.
Senaattorin kommentit kompromisseista homman käynnistämiseksi ja Gideonin
uho siitä, että hän suututtaa varmasti monia, ovat käytännössä JMS:n
itsensä aivan suoria kommentteja TNT:n sekaantumisesta.
The pacing of this episode, as well as 106 [The Well of Forever]
and 107 [The Long Road], is consistently
While there may be some validity to this as far as 106 is concerned, about
which more later, I find "slow pacing" a very difficult concept to apply to
WAR ZONE contains 25 interior shots, 52 exterior
shots, and a total of 115 scenes over 43 pages, averaging 3 scenes or major
shots per page, which is something of a record for a script on this or just
about any other show. It has stunts, fights, hand-to-hand combat,
air-to-air combat, air-to-ground combat, sneaking, shooting, and buckets of
other action. It is, frankly, the most ambitious and fastest-paced episode
we've ever produced, rivaled only by 103 [Racing the Night, alkuperäinen
avausjakso], which is in your hands now, and which is anything but slow.
I believe that, as with 103, the pacing will become more evident once the
CGI and other effects are in.
The fight scene in the opening is choppy and unrealistic.
We did the best we could there with what we had in the dailies, which were
also sent to TNT. It was a small set, and we really only have the two
scenes with which to play.
Ø I agree that there are some places where a couple of transitional shots
(such as the downshot, and the crew running out the door coming into the
stairwell scene) are a bit awkward, given the coverage we had. We jumped
into the scene a bit faster because we wanted to speed up the pacing, get
into the confrontation with Gideon quickly, rather than wait for them to
start at the top of the stairs and come all the way down.
Ø We can try to further expand the fight by lengthening the first piece,
but only by double-cutting some of the footage we have from B-camera and
grabbing bits of side-action, but this will add more cuts and that may
also make it more "choppy."
Ø If you want additional fight stuff for that scene, it would have to be
shot as new material, and there will be costs involved in doing that.
The scenes which include the senator's speeches need to be cut back.
As noted previously, this scene was expanded to meet TNT's earlier notes.
Virtually all of the information presented here is necessary for the
audience to understand what the show is about: the plague, the blockade,
why Gideon was chosen, and what the mission is.
Ø However: there is a small piece or two that can be lifted, about 5-15
seconds worth, which may help to pick up the pacing. It would, however,
mean eliminating some of the material asked for in earlier notes. So if
TNT is okay with that, we can trim up the scene and add those seconds to
the fight scene in the teaser.
If "unrealistic" could be better defined for us, that would be very
helpful, because that one has us kind of stumped.
Ø One other thing we can do in future episodes that will help the pacing is
to work more closely with the directors, who tend to loved their long
panning shots to open up a scene, rather than just jumping into it. (We
sometimes get stuck with those long pans because coverage tends to start
later into the scene, leaving us unable to cut into the scene any later.)
Gideon doesn't seem to have an understanding or a rapport with his ship.
So that I can better understand the note, at what point does Gideon indicate
that he doesn't understand his ship?
As for "a rapport with his ship," in this episode he is assigned to the
Excalibur for the first time. He's only been there for a few hours; it
seems unrealistic to expect to build a rapport with a place in just a few
There are also logic problems. How does he know where the conference
room is on the Excalibur without some investigating?
In the first Excalibur scene, Matheson escorts Gideon to the bridge. Gideon
can see the conference room from his chair. Since it is in his clear line
of sight, I'm not sure how much further investigation is required in order
to find it.
Introduce Trace by name earlier.
Ø We don't have any footage of this, but we can add an ADR line using his
Regarding the Chambers scene here we must agree to disagree. Her letter to
her sister seems very emotional to everyone here and at WB. Further, it's
not a crying scene because that scene is about encouraging her sister about
their intention to find a cure. She has to be strong for her sister, not
fall apart. This had to be done as a recorded letter to her sister because
we couldn't afford another actor at that point.
Also, that scene was sent through in script, and everyone was fine with it
at the time.
Regarding 106 and 107 as we noted in our conversation prior to their
publication in script form, having done massive action shows in 101-105, we
needed to have a couple of smaller, quieter shows in order to balance out
the costs involved. So yes, they are slower episodes, as I noted at the
time they would be. You can't produce every episode at a screaming pace
and expect to stay on budget. Some are loud, some are quiet; the key is
just to do more louds than quiets.
|3 - The Well of Forever
Kommentit ovat kuvattuun jaksoon, josta vielä puuttui kaikki jälkituotanto.
The opening seems slow. Is there a way to open with the scene in which Galen
convinces the crew to go to the Well of Forever? This scene will catch the
attention of the audience.
There are only two scenes in the opening: a walk-and-talk scene with Matheson
and Gideon, in which we learn that Matheson is going to get tested to ensure
that he has not been improperly scanning people telepathically, and the
convince-the-crew scene. The most we could do structurally would be to flop
the two scenes in sequence.
Both are dialogue scenes. The first one keeps us in motion, and sets up that
Gideon is en route to a meeting; the second scene is that meeting. We cannot
edit out that part because it comes at a point where the camera is moving and
we're well into the scene. It seems to us best to start in on movement, to
pull the audience in, and end on the conference scene, because that sets up the
mystery: no one has ever come back. To have that moment, and then the
walk-and-talk, would eliminate the dramatic end of the teaser, which we're
hoping to use to make the audience want to come back after the commercial
So on careful reflection, this one can't really be done without actually
working against the overall pacing and structure of the episode.
|6 - Ruling from the Tomb
Kommentit ovat käsikirjoitusta koskevaan TNT-palautteeseen.
Regarding the recap of the request to edit down the Jehanne dialogue on
page 13, expressed at the time because it seemed too "far out" as noted later
in the script, we are using the actual dialogue of Joan of Arc in the script.
So if we are to retain our historical accuracy, we can't really change that
Henderson's murder at the end of the teaser needs to have more physical
action have it become more of a hand-to-hand struggle.
We have already had to pull back on some of the stunt work in that episode
due to budget limitations, and adding one more here is not within the limits
of what we can do. Also, the suddenness of the attack is what we're looking
for, dramatically, rather than a prolonged struggle with someone we've never
Ø However, I've spoken with John Copeland about this (he's directing this
episode), and he will do what he can to maximize the action of that scene
without having to add stunts or other costly elements.
I hope that this will be of assistance in clarifying the situation. We will
certainly try and do what we can in the areas where we indicated we have some
room to work, but as always, the degree to which we can make modifications is
dictated to us by the budget, and we have an obligation to both WB and TNT to
stay within those limits.
|8 - Appearances and Other Deceits
Nämä kommentit ovat myös käsikirjoituksesta. Ja niin uskomattomalta kuin
se tuntuukin, aitoja - kannattaa muistaa että jakson koko konsultanttijuoni
on vain JMS:n kuittailua TNT:n Crusadeen vaatimille muutoksille.
Can we have one of our primary characters become inhabited by the being
instead of either Rice or Janey?
This is not possible; in order to provide the solution to the problem, we
need Chambers, Eilerson and Matheson outside, and free. I chose those
individuals specifically because they're the ones who together work out the
solution. If you take any of them out of the equation, you don't have the
people necessary to resolve this. So they can't become inhabited.
If we choose another character from our roster of regulars, that means a
substantial rewrite and increased cast costs and we have further problems
because we only have access to a limited number of episodes per cast member,
and we're trying to spread them out for maximum effect. So this one we can't
It might be fun to play up the comedy with (the fashion consultant) have him
get the crew into more trouble, not out of it. [TNT-setä sanoo: "haluamme
saattaa teidät vielä enemmän vaikeuksiin"]
That would be kind of the cliché way to go, in my view; to have him even
inadvertently help the process is a nice surprise. Also, to create a thread
where we have to set up a third problem in the script (the changes being asked
for by Earth being one, the infestation being the second) and pay it off
requires more room than we have in 43 pages, and is an unnecessary beat.
Can we heighten the crew's annoyance with the changes being made on the
ship? [TNT-setä sanoo: "haluamme olla vieläkin kiusallisempia"]
The changes are not actually made until the end of the episode, which makes
this rather problematic. We can add material in which they voice their
concerns about what might be done, but this will again add expository dialogue
that will slow down the pacing of the episode, and that seems to contradict
what we are being asked for elsewhere.
Ø Re: "decoding of 'the air is human,'" >I'll look at that and see if we can
extend the discovery of what he's trying to communicate to make it clearer
about how they get there. Be advised, again, that this will add time and
exposition and slow the pace.
|[3.6.] Sekalaisia kommentteja
JMS kertoi nyysseissä yleisesti ongelmista TNT:n kanssa. Ja edelleen, JMS:n
puhumat viisi ensimmäistä jaksoa ovat ne viisi viimeisenä esitettävää.
In one scene we shot, there's a slight reflection on the monitor wherein
we can see Gideon's face reflected. (Intentional on the director's part.)
They asked if we could give them the scene without the reflection. No, we
can't...unless we reshoot it.
One other area where we ran up against a problem with understanding was on the
EFX and delivery. They simply couldn't visualize what was going into a CGI
shot before we actually *did* it. They'd look at a scene where we'd slugged
time for action, and think it was slow, because no, there isn't anything there
NOW, but there will be when the CGI is done.
They also kept saying (after the first 5) that the show was too dark, that they
couldn't see anything, that the colors were muted. That's one reason they
wanted the sets repainted, to make them more colorful. We kept saying, no,
it's NOT too dark, we don't know where you're getting that.
I finally found out when I went to visit someone at TNT and looked at what THEY
were looking at...not the digibeta footage, or a good clean copy of the
edit...they were looking at a fourth- or fifth-generation dub of the *avid
output*, which is a digitized version of the film, somewhat low-res.
So finally, we brought in their tech guy, and showed him the digital beta
version, the actual footage. He looked at it, and said, "Oh, okay, you're
right, it's not dark at all." But by then the mandate had come down from on
high, LIGHTEN THE SCENES. Which is why the first five have a moodier, more
stylistic look to them than the rest.